I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
