Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
