Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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