dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
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