a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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