if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
