it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize