Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
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