plz talk dirty to me
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
