After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize
