Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
