windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
