so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Randomize
