In the future we'll all be gay
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
