I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
