Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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