Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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