Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
