I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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