Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
