At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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