Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
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