you have to choose: penises or morals?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
