She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize