So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize