just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
