i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Randomize
