More tranny stories later!
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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