you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
