The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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