Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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