We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
