Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
When did we convert life to cartoon?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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