Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
you traded sex for a burrito?
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Randomize
