You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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