party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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