it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
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