need another drink. this is the easiest way
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Randomize
