Grow some girl-balls and come out already
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
