All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Damn victory sex feels great
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
