I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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