Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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