..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize