You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
