O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
