hell yes lets make some ravioli
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
