He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
