He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
