We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Sorry my hands just texted you
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
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