He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
FUCK WHALES
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
