If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize