Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Blood and glitter go together right?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
