Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
