just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Randomize
