he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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