had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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