Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
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