dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize