It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
