i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
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