Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
