we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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